It's Been So Long Since You Said, "I Know What I Want, & What I Wants' Right Here With You"

Clear night, pretty cold, looking up and checking out Delilah, and her neighbours I suppose. Thinking about a similar night, however not so cold. We said we’d warm each other with hugs. Thinking about how angry I was, and at what point did it all go wrong, when I realized I’ve been mad at the wrong person. Guess it was that night when it happened, even though it had been going on much longer. All the hints, the subtle and the obvious, and I was too scared, I didn’t want to fall in, harder than I already had.

But I guess that means its my fault, things would have been different if I was brave, if I didn’t really love you to the point of fear. I didn’t want you to know the power you had, the intensity of that feeling. I know you cared, even though you didn’t show it all the time, but in those moments when you let me in, I saw all the wonders that made you who you were, that made me fall in love, and that’s when I got the most scared. Its been years, and I wonder why its taken so long to figure it out, but if your reading this, I’ve got something to tell you.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I’ve been angry at you this whole time, I’m sorry I thought the worst, I’m sorry it was my fault, and I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough, and that you wasted your time trying.

I’m not saying I want you back, cause I’ve moved past all that, I’m just acknowledging the fact that if I had just not been so scared of how I felt, things would be different, and maybe I wouldn’t have hurt you.

I do miss it, I miss the feelings, I miss the connection, I miss the laughs and the butterflies, and I miss you, but everyone’s got that one who got away.

You’re the one who got away.